A parade!

On a whim last saturday the boys and i decided to go to the parade with some friends. We're still unsure  what was being celebrated, but I'm always up for a parade! Even if it was the QUIETEST parade i have ever been to. Seriously, it was so quiet. Only 2 very small high school marching bands throughout the whole parade! But still, the boys and i had a great time!

Billy was most interested in some balloons that had floated "up in da ky" 

You wouldn't know it from this picture, but i think Luke is one of billy's best friends.

I think noah might be one of luke's best friends :o)

Enjoying popcorn by the handful, just like a true redfern!

Me and my boys, just before the parade started. We were excited!

Later that day we went to the ball park for a bit, just to play. It was so nice to see a little more of our tiny town!

When we were done at the ballpark, we went to a friends house for some games. It was such a GREAT saturday!

Just before bed (just realized I never posted this...)

I was working on a photo book today and i FINALLY finished it at 10pm (i had to finish it today or it wouldnt be free)! Then i was too worked up from the last-minute nerves so i decided to sit on the couch and have a drink and catch up on facebook and blog about our day :o)

I always listen to music while doing dishes. Today billy started spinning in circles and said "oooo. sumic. momma i dancing! wan dance momma?" so i started mimicking his dance moves, to which he replied "oh, u so cute momma."

noah is down to 2 naps. but he keeps trying to move his bedtime further and further back (9pm tonight)! he thinks he is a pre-teen already...

kyle was happy for the small break of a canceled flight today. poor guy needs more breaks.

I put on workout clothes in hopes that i would actually go workout (i'm wearing them, might as well hit the gym, right?) but it was not successful. I did have someone ask me how my workout was though...so at the very least this outfit is good for days when i havent showered (most days) b/c then it just seems like i just got out of them gym. because really, who wears their workout clothes to run errands...   ;o)

we brought daddy some snacks at work today, then enjoyed our lunch on the flight line. billy likes to watch the planes take off and land. noah likes to eat. i like to be out of the house. WIN!

there's our day, in a nutshell :o)

Frustration

I am very careful with my words. not in an evil, calculated sort of way. But in a cautious "i know how awful it feels to have your feelings hurt" sort of way.  I really don't want to offend or hurt other people.

I have a very small, but close, group of friends here.

I often need to talk things through, or just "put it out there" to purge it from my mind.

My husband is extremely busy, so trying to discuss things that do not involve him just seems frivolous. Especially because many of the things i need to talk about matter only in that moment. I usually know they will not be significant in a week, or a day, or maybe even the next hour.

All these things added up make for a LOT of random facebook posts. A whole lot. And i'm okay with that (i honestly don't care if anyone else has an issue...block my updates, it's easy to do). But one of today's posts started a RIGHT before bed (i mean my earplugs were almost in) conversation with kyle that has me so frustrated I can't sleep.

"Friends close, enemies closer? Nah. I'll just be nice to everyone and try my hardest to brush my shoulders off when the meanies (intentional or not) hurt my feelings."


He thinks "why post something that you're going to do? just live it." Um, hello? Why do anything on FB with that attitude? I tried to explain that facebook is sometimes my ONLY interaction with people, with my friends. Today for instance, i saw only my neighbor. and only for 5 minutes. thanks to 2 children on two very different nap schedules, i had at least one child napping from 10 am to 5 pm.  DOnt get me wrong, I love being a stay at home mom. But, if it's weren't for facebook, i am not sure i could survive days like this. 

He says he understands. he doesn't.

He also thinks that i am setting myself up for fights, or awkward conversations, or losing friends.  He may very well be right, but i don't think so. Because i have a small group of friends, it would be obvious who I am "blowing off steam" about. And that is not fair. I know my emotions are fleeting. And i know any conversation of this sort could easily be considered catty and gossipy, and those are 2 adjectives i do NOT want tied to me. Still, I needed to get that thought out of my head and put it into words that i could read again and again  when i need to. Sure, i could just write that in a journal, but i also needed the support of my friends. I needed to see the "likes" and read the comments to get some encouragement. So onto facebook it went. Another thing, this isn't about the person who hurt my feelings. This is me telling myself (while getting encouragement from my friends) that i need to not let other people hurt me so easily. I am SO sensitive (hence the RIDICULOUSLY long (but super cathartic) blog post at 11pm after a 2 minute calm conversation with my husband). The situation that caused my feelings to get hurt that sparked the post? I am confident there were ZERO intentions of hurting my feelings, so this post was NOT about that person. It was about me changing how i deal with things. I need to remember that not everyone is as highly sensitive as i am, so not everyone thinks the way i do or acts the way i do. But i also need to remember to not give people who are intentionally hurtful the satisfaction of my emotional reactions (thus the "intentional or not" part).  

I had been thinking about ways to deal with these sorts of people (by that i mean people who are oblivious to my sensitive nature, who are less gentle than I strive to be), and the "enemies closer" phrase came to mind. ANd i immediately knew that wasn't "me", and i could never do that. how exhausting! the very next thought was the "golden rule".  And that is much more "me." And much more easy. And i knew i needed to remember that.







Ugh. I have written so much...I don't know how else to explain it. I"m not sure I can. At least now i feel calmer and like i can sleep :o)

Sunday not-the-usual-kind-of-fun-day :-)

I was sick, again. It started Saturday night with a fever that climbed quickly out of no where (nothing dangerous, but certainly uncomfortable). And shakes. And chills. And body aches. It's so weird... I can feel it coming on again now as I type.

Because I felt so awful, my wonderful (but slightly hungover thanks to his solo party...a different post to come) husband took care of me and let me nap for 2 hours and rest for another hour. He completely took care of the boys. He did all the changing and playing and feeding (lunch was chicken...just sliced deli chicken) AND put them down for a nap (the chicken must have magical powers because they slept.so.long). This may be old hat for some daddies, but until today he didn't have the opportunity to take care of the boys all on his own. On a whim, the hungover-hubby did excellent. A+ in my book :-)

After my incredible break, I felt much better. After we watched a little mad men and he did a little studying, we decided to go out to Brinner (breakfast for dinner... He he he) at IHOP. It was super tasty.

After dinner we made the very last minute decision to head to the train at meadowlake park since we have never been. It was great!! Billy apparently takes his train riding very seriously, but he loved it!!

Noah almost fell asleep :o)

I've written a ton already, so I'll sum up the rest ;-)

Perfect weather on the drive home

Boys playing while mommy and daddy just smile watching them
Mommy playing with boys instead of cleaning
Bedtimes
Mad men
House remained unclean

Happy day :o)

Quick update

I think about posting so many things on Facebook (yes I know I post a lot already, but you have no idea how bad it could be...) that I never do. But they stay in my head, punching around and cluttering my thoughts. I think they have completely taken over the "clean your house" section of my brain and that's why it never stays clean. So, in a way, if I get them out of my head and on to my blog I will have a cleaner home :-)

Noah has two teeth.
He can also army crawl with the best of them AND can pull himself up to his knees! Also, he learned how to clap and will gladly put on a show for you if you say "yay!"

Billy has developed slightly more attitude, but much more of an outgoing personality. So i'll take the "bad" with the good :-) He also found his love for climbing. It's the most "dangerous" activity my cautious boy has decided to take part in, so I'm really encouraging him to climb on anything he thinks he should, within reason of course.

Kyle is doing well in training. I'm so proud of him. It has not been easy for him by any means, but he is persevering. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and, although it may be hard to see at times, he is remaining focused on it. This week should be the hardest so far. To give you an idea how hard it is, today he: has a quiz first thing, then a flight, then a simulator, then a test.  That may not sound like a lot, but the flight and sim take up quite a bit of time and energy. And even though flying has its fun moments, they mostly wipe him out. Then he comes home to 2 kids and a wife who are vying for his attention for about an hour. Then he gets a quick meal and goes to his office to study till he goes to bed. And this is just what I know/see...I can't even imagine what his day is REALLY like! Extra prayers for this hard-working daddy if you have 'em!

Me? I'm really enjoying life here in Enid. I already feel like i have made some lifelong friends. I'm getting better at the stay-at-home mommy role (but not as good as I would have thought, given i have been doing it for over 2 years). The house, it's usually very disorganized. Mostly clean, highly cluttered. But my kids and husband are fed, have clean clothes to wear, and they know they are loved. I have to remind myself that some days that may be all that gets done, and that is enough. Also, I realized this past week while kyle's mom was here that i can be a MUCH better mom and wife when i take some time to myself. I took 3 hours and got my hair done while she was here. Those 3 hours have refreshed me for days! I'm gonna try to drop the boys off at the CDC a few hours a week. It's hard because I know kyle doesnt get a break so i feel guilty taking one. But i think i can do a much better job of supporting him if i make myself take some free time.

This has already proven to be the hardest year of our lives both individually and as a couple, but we're doing really well. I am confident we will come out of this experience stronger than ever!

Okay that wasnt so quick after all:-( sorry.

Off he goes, into the wild blue yonder...

I can't think of a different way to say it that could explain it any better than my facebook post, so i'll just quote myself:

"

I saw him fly a plane. A really fast plane. A really fast plane owned by the United States Air Force. I saw him fly a really fast USAF plane all by himself!! And with that I saw another part of his dreams come true. And it was just as awesome as I thought it would be!"

I am truly very proud of my husband. He's incredible. And, though he might doubt himself from time to time, he is well on his way to officially becoming a pilot for the USAF.  Yay kyle! I will forever be your biggest fan :o)

I can't tell you how thrilling it was to watch him take-off and land again and again (12 landings total!!) and perform various maneuvers whose names i cannot remember.  I pointed to him over and over: "Billy, see that airplane? that's daddy!!!"  I was so ecstatic that i can't remember what billy's response was. i'm sure it was something really cute but i just can't remember.  I do remember what he said when i put him back in the car though: "wanna go fly daddy airplane!"  I think he enjoyed it almost as much as i did...almost.

Thanks to my friend Jamie, I was able to listen to him make his radio calls. That made the experience that much cooler. (sidenote: a big thank you to jamie for watching noah in the shade. because of her i was actually able to take pictures!)

Speaking of...I took 354 pictures. 354! insane, right? maybe a little obsessive...but i couldn't stand the thought of missing "the" picture. I was using a new manual-focused lens and i was/am not confident using it. But i am so happy I took as many as i did, because i feel like i got some incredible shots!

One of his touch-and-go's.  Can you see the tail number? It's "901."  My birthday is 9/01. Destiny :o)

Here he is making a turn. I am most proud of this picture! I LOVE it!

I can't remember the name of this maneuver... I know it must have been something at least a little rare b/c his classmates were saying "get a picture of this!" and "wow" and "that's awesome" and stuff. So that's cool :O)

taxiing after his final landing

Pretty darn handsome, if i do say so myself!

One of kyle's classmates took this. Like i said, manual focus on the lens. and this one wasn't focused correctly (it's sort-of a pain). Sadly it is the best of the 3 pictures taken of us :o( 

a little back story on this: The trainees get thrown in a "dunk tank" immediately following their solo flight. If they can make it back into their classroom and touch the back wall, the rest of the class has to buy that person a thing (case? sixer? not sure) of beer. Mention free beer and kyle will run his butt off :o) He came close, but didn't quite make it.

He got some good air!

So there you have it! I had a hard time narrowing 354 pictures down to just a few, but i'm not sure even the proudest of family would tolerate me posting all the pictures!

God just continues to bless us in ways we don't deserve. But we try to remain thankful every day. I was/am incredibly thankful for this day. 

Moose...

...has been called a girl quite a bit lately. In fact yesterday I (very nicely) corrected one lady who kept referring to him as "she." he responded with an exasperated "that's a boy?!? He's so pretty." I said "I think so too. My husband and i make some pretty boys."

I think my boys are pretty stinkin handsome, and i sometimes call them "pretty boys" but i never thougt they were pretty enough to be confused as girls!! It doesn't bug me, but perhaps I should start dressing them in overtly "manly" attire? I don't even know what that would be...butt crack showing and sleeves ripped off their shirts? Too redneck?

Maybe I'll just get their hair cut :-)